Pray for Stellan

Stellan needs your prayers. This has become my favorite blog for a few months now! Mck Mama and Prince Charming had thier 4 child about 4 months ago (Stellan) who was born healed of the SVT that ailed his body inutero. It seems the SVT has reared it's ugly head. Check out her blog and pray!

BUMP: What I Miss....

Today marks year 5 without her.




Nini,

Can you believe it’s been four years since you left this world for a place much better? I can’t believe it. In fact I believe it less today than four years ago. It’s funny how grief works itself out. It’s the most random things that really make me wish you were still here and that wish is growing instead of fading. I feel like I have to remember and that I am grateful that I have so much to remember.

The Raccoon Soap Dish
The smell of Violets
Your Vanity
Cotton White Hair
Opening Christmas presents in the front room at 7 Park Place.
White Pepper
“Oh Gad”
Nail polish on the Lazy Susan at the kitchen table.
The way you pulled me toward you while we would nap on your bed
Randy Gnome
The powder in the yellow container
Pecan and Chocolate Pie
SHOES! (Your gold, silver and bronze sneakers)
Braums Milk
The maddest you ever got at Evan and me.
Saturdays in Richardson while Mom was with Mr. Huddleston
The smell of leather seats, cigarettes and Kleenex in a hot summer car
Piano music
Your handwriting
Your letters that always mentioned the weather
Shopping trips and lunch at Christina’s
Calling you to take me to school because a pumpkin was thrown through the windshield of my car. Did you know Mom was upset that I called you? She didn’t want me to worry you.
You calling Carl a big Teddy Bear
Abuelo’s
The way you and Lucky had matching hair color and moles
farting dining room chairs
spoons
Listening to Chipmunks Christmas on the record player
Coffee mugs with birds and lipstick stains.

There really is so much more. I just can’t think of them right now. That scares me. Sometimes the memories just come to me. Most of the time I smell something like coffee or violets and it takes me back. Funny enough I usually go back to the Richardson house. I don’t know why. The last time I was with Tyler and Rachel was the first time I realized they didn’t even know the Richardson house! I told them all about it. I told them how much fun Evan and I would have exploring the upper floor and going through Lisa’s things while she was away at college. I just bought Caress body wash and it’s the weirdest thing, every time I use it I feel like I am in the upstairs bathroom staring at that silly raccoon soap dish. I have no idea the connection, but I like it.

By the way, it’s unusually warm and sunny today. In fact I walked to lunch.

Love Always,
KD