I know what you are thinking.
Isn't a nightmare?
All the bodily fluids and solids. All the flushing and washing. All the various states of nudity.
I gotta tell you, it's not a nightmare at all. It's AMAZING!
You have to realize that to date this is your child's biggest accomplishment. This is your toddler's graduation day and it is truly amazing to see them filled with utter elation and pride.
In the last month my class has 4 full blown potty trained kiddos. We are currently working on 4 more. Think about it. Unless you are in the same line of work I am in or your last name is Duggar you probably won't be potty training this many kids in your lifetime. So yeah. I am kinda becoming an expert. So here are a few or maybe a ton of helpful hints.
Is your child ready?
Physically-Your child can physically get himself to the bathroom, take on and off his clothes, has regular and solidish bowel movements and stays dry for an hour to hours at a time.
Behavioral-He hates being wet or dirty, you can tell when he is "going" because he pauses or hides in the action, he digs watching or "helping" you go to the bathroom and he doesn't resist when the subject of going on the potty comes up.
Cognitive-He's got the vocabulary to go along with the various actions, He can tell you before it's too late, Your child is able to follow simple directions.
What, your kid can't do all that? Some of the stuff just has to come with maturity but there are some things you can do to speed up the progress.
Pre-Potty Training
Let your child dress themselves. I am not talking about letting them decide that they want to wear their favorite Christmas sweater with their swim trunks. (Although it is good to let them do that every once in a while) I am talking about letting them physically dress themselves. Start off small. Put their pants on just below their bottom and let them pull them the rest of the way or put their shirt on but let them pull it down over their belly. Gradually let them do more and more. Soon enough your child will be dressing themselves from head to toe.
Let them see your bathroom habits and talk it out while your doing it. Remember, what is second nature to you is all new and exciting to your toddler. Be prepared to talk about "private" subjects. While your are urinating tell your child. "This is how mommy urinates in the potty. After I am done I take the toilet paper and wipe my vagina." Oops. I just ooged you out didn't I? Call it what it is. I prefer the words penis and vagina. Here's why. With so much "potty" vernacular out there some kids call a penis "pee pee" and some kids call urine "pee pee". As you can imagine it can be very confusing to a young child. And let me tell you THEY talk. Potty talk is a good portion of my day! Think about it. They are learning everything! A penis however is a penis and urine is always urine and so on and so forth. Now, that being said if a parent wants me to call it something else I will as long as it doesn't make the child think their body part is dirty. NEVER LET A CHILD THINK THAT ANY PART OF THEIR BODY IS DIRTY OR BAD!!! I can do a whole post on what I have seen in my line of work about adults embarrassing a child without even knowing it! It is a VERY touchy subject for me. Moving on.
At about 18 months you can start getting your child ready to wear underwear! Just add "undie" time right before bath. Don't even mention the potty. Just tell your child that you are going to let them try out underwear. Start out in 10 min increments. Keep adding 10 minutes as you see fit until there is an accident or they ask to use the potty. When that happens have the child help you or watch you clean up their urine and explain to them that "This is urine. You've been putting this in your diaper. Mommy and Daddy put it in the toilet. If you would like you can put it in the toilet too!" There are a ton of reasons for this. First, diapers are too good. They keep your child too dry. Your kid is never uncomfortable. When they urinate in their underwear they can FEEL it. Getting used to that is a challenge in it's self. Secondly, You are bringing up the potty in a non hostile way. This is a no pressure situation. Finally, You can gauge how long your child is able to stay dry which can help you when you are able to aggressively potty train.
OK, so NOW your kid can do all the things on the checklist, so now what?!?!?!
POTTY TRAINING
NO PULL UPS! They are just expensive diapers. Those 4 kids I mentioned that are potty trained in my class, yup, it was all done in regular old underwear. Oh and did I mention that they all did it in less than two weeks. Makes you wanna listen up huh?
Most kids don't like to feel dirty. About eighty six forty times a day a kid wants me to rub the sand off of his hands (RIGHT NOW) because he hates the way it feels but funnily enough he is ok walking around with a hot, stinky load in his diaper. It's because diapers these days are TOO GOOD! They do the job and do it well. Kids need a reason to use the potty. If they feel awesome in a diaper they aren't going to try out your new fangled contraption called the toilet. Out of 4 potty trained kids I had to clean up 6 accidents. They learned pretty quickly that the potty was pretty cool and it was defiantly better than that soggy feeling.
I am anti kid potties too! PEOPLE! Let me make a confession right now. If I baby sat your kid, and they were using a little potty, you better believe that when they were in my caring hands their tushies were on the big toilet. GROSS! I am not cleaning out a little pot! Really think about it. Do you know how much stink is absorbed by the toilet water? Seriously. And what are you going to do when you are out and about far away from the tiny toilet and your kid has got to go, oh, AND they REFUSE to get on the scary huge thing with a hole in it? Now that we have that out of the way....
Take your child to the bathroom every 45 minutes. (Remember if your kid is having accident after accident and you are making a real effort to put them on the toilet every 45 minutes, it's because they aren't physically ready) Instruct and help in the beginning but as minimally as possible. As in "First pull down your pants, now your underwear, sit on the potty...." VERY STEP BY STEP. They are learning. Don't assume they know how it's done. Don't forget the wiping, flushing and washing! The less you do for your kid the better. It is the ultimate reason your kid wants to be potty trained. Independence. It's simple. The more they are able to do on their own, the prouder they will be about completing the task at hand. "All by myself" is a very popular phrase with the toddlers. By the way, no hard to take off clothing for a couple of weeks please. Once your kid gets the hang of it you can start to increase the time between potty breaks.
Know your kid's B.M. (Bowel Movement) schedule and beat them to it with a book! Say your kid has a B.M everyday at 3:30. Well at 3:15 put them on the potty with a good book. Like War and Peace or something. Tell them that you will give them a treat if they sit there and B.M. in the toilet. (If you have to give them a treat to get them JUST to sit on the potty then they aren't ready to potty train yet!) Don't be afraid to give them private time. Even toddlers need some peace to do their business. Oh and when I say "treat" I don't mean Chuck E. Cheese. I mean like 1 M&M or a sticker or raisin. The real "treat" for your kid is the excitement you portray. Act like you just won a million bucks (you will be saving about 40 bucks a months without diapers!), offer to take their picture. No really. Kids think they are really something when they have a picture of themselves beaming at the camera right next to the massive B.M. faithfully laying in the toilet. It also helps you remember how you NEVER want to clean something like that out of a diaper again! For some reason it's like their B. M. grows 10 fold when it's in the toilet verses a diaper. One of those phenomenon's. (Save that picture for their Senior Yearbook Ad, ensure your child will love you forever and ONLY you)
Underwear at times of sleep too! Those accidents I mentioned before included sleeping times too! Ultimately, you know your kid better than anyone. You will need to gauge if they need waking up in the night for a quick pit stop or not. Buy a plastic liner for the bed, or the kid, or both! Again, putting your kid in a pull-up during this time is only going to prolong the whole potty training process (this is of course excluding children with physical problems). Make potty training easy on you. Do it all or nothing! If you were never good at night time feedings and the idea of you dealing with having to change a bed in the middle of the night makes you want to cringe, then make a pallet next to your child's bed the night before. Then all you have to do is change the child in the night. As long as there is a plastic liner then it can wait until morning.
Don't give your child a drink ALL of the time. If your kid is in a child care facility I can pretty much guarantee they aren't hanging out with their sippy cup all day. (Nor would you want them too! Think about how many kids would get ahold of your kids cup and pass them germs!) At home really try and limit the drinking to times of eating or after a hard playtime. This will help you get a hold on your kids urine production.
Finally, just remember, if potty training is killing you then it's not the right time. That being said. If it's just inconvenient and your child is totally into it. Don't give up. You will have a pottier in NO time. Accidents happen. Don't make the kid feel bad but also let them help you clean up the mess. As long as you aren't doing it as a punishment it can be a great learning experience. Please don't hesitate to ask questions or vent. I love potty stories! I hope this helps and I hope I remember all this when I finally DO become a parent!
I feel like this is getting WAY TOO LONG! If I leave something out I will update it later.
